


Whichever comes first

by nerdyostrich



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Inspired By Tags, M/M, closer still, i had an idea, it is hannigram if you squint, look close, overuse of quotes, strange prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 16:45:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyostrich/pseuds/nerdyostrich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will has Hannibal Lecter under his skin, curled around his very soul, and he does not know if it will ever go away. Not even in death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whichever comes first

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by the tags of a tumblr post (aka this one: http://sassytimelordminion.tumblr.com/post/51910908608/funnibals-cannot-get-over-how-will-is-sitting)

_inspired by these tags ([x](http://sassytimelordminion.tumblr.com/post/51910908608/funnibals-cannot-get-over-how-will-is-sitting))_

Will Graham hasn't always seen Hannibal Lecter as a friend. At first he was a psychiatrist, waiting to look into Will's mind and pick at anything he might find in there. _(Don't psychoanalyze me. You won't like me when I'm psychoanalyzed.)_ Will found his very presence annoying and useless, something that should be avoided at all costs. Hannibal was not interesting. He was a small scratch in the grand design, something mildly distracting but ultimately without purpose.  _("I don't find you that interesting." "You will.")_

After the initial phase of annoyance and forced courtesy, words coming forced and stuttered from throats, Hannibal became something else. Hannibal became more than a psychiatrist; he became Will's paddle. He was a small life line, should the engine that was Will's mind shut down.  _("You're supposed to be my paddle." "I am.")_  There were the early seeds of friendship; teasing words slipped past stern lips, almost quirking to a genuine smile for a moment.  _(That's some lazy psychiatry, Doctor Lecter.)_

And then slowly, almost imperceptibly, they gradually became friends, or at least what best could be labeled as friends. They became something akin to surrogate fathers to Abigail Hobbs, both caring intensely for the girl and keeping her secret. Because that's what family does; keep each other's secrets.  _(We are her fathers now.)_  They got dragged into each other's world. Will is still confused over who got there first, but does it truly matter?  _("I feel like I have dragged you into my world." "No, I got here on my own, but I appreciate the company.")_

Will can't deny how much they cared for each other, or at least, how much he thought that they cared for each other. Now he sees it all too clearly. Despite the true relief in his eyes when he sees Will alive, there is no denying that it was Hannibal who sent him there.  _(I was worried you were dead.)_  Now Will can see the schemes behind each word, every carefully worded sentence. He can see that Hannibal was manipulating him all along, using words such as "friend" and "caring" to mislead. At least, Will is telling himself that none of it was real.  _(I'm your friend, Will. I don't care about the lives you save. I care about your life.)_

When Will starts to notice the signs, he's in too deep and he denies it everything over and over again. Will denies the connection between the resurfacing of the Chesapeake Ripper and the nights that Hannibal is unavailable. Will denies that the braised heart that Hannibal serves him is not the proper size of an average cow heart. Will looks away when he sees Hannibal's eyes flicker across crime scene photos, his lips almost smiling if Will looks from the right angle.  _(Tell me about the Chesapeake Ripper, Will.)_  Now, Will knows that this could have been stopped. He could have figured this out sooner and lives could have been spared. If it hadn't been for his selfishness and stupid wish for things to be different, he could have stopped this and seen through the lies. If Will hadn't held onto his paddle so tightly, perhaps he could have gotten his engine to work again.  _(There is absolutely nothing neurologically wrong with you.)_

Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter are entwined by fate, so similar yet absolute opposites. Will knows this. Will knows that Hannibal has planted seeds within Will that have blossomed, burrowing their way underneath his skin and poisoning his blood. At night, Will can still hear Hannibal's voice whispering into his ear and the crook of his neck, its velvety lethality creeping across his skin and sinking into his very bones. Those words that make more sense now than they did before.  _("Did God feel good about that?" "He felt powerful.")_  Will doesn't want to feel this connection, this sickening co-dependency, to someone that is so much more than a mere serial killer. He doesn't want to feel Hannibal's influence wrapped around him like a snake whispering to him, tempting him like the biblical serpent tempted Eve. But if Will had to liken Hannibal to something, it would not be a serpent. He would liken Hannibal to Hades and himself to Persephone, lured into his trap. Hannibal would liken himself to God and Will to a worshipper, someone to mold into his image, but not an equal.  _(Killing must feel good to God, he does it all the time. And are we not created in his image?)_

This was Hannibal's design all along. He wanted to mold Will into something, someone, that would benefit him. To this day, Will does not know exactly what. A friend? A fellow killer? Or simply a toy to play with? Will is not sure that he wants to know the answer. All Will knows are fabricated apologies with sharpened blades thrown at him while he struggles to keep his skin together, to keep himself from fading away into nothingness.  _(I'm sorry, Will.)_  Looking out his window, Will does not know if he will ever be free of the darkness under his skin, the pieces of Hannibal that linger on. Sometimes, he thinks that perhaps they are both too entwined to each other that death itself will not break that bond. Even if death would cut them apart, leaving the other bleeding out on the carpet, Will isn't sure whose death would be the most effective.  _(Whichever comes first.)_


End file.
